After 49 years of continuous depression, anxiety, panic attacks, obsessive thoughts and actions, social phobia and escalating mania, interrupted by severe depressive episodes, I finally faced the possibility that I must have bipolar disorder. I knew nothing about the illness and, while researching it one day in January 2003, I came across “Bipolar Breakthrough” and Truehope’s EMPowerplus. Though I had worked with several therapists and psychiatrists since age 38, and though I had, reluctantly, resorted to the use of antidepressants, I felt that my life had never gotten out of the basement. I was divorced and raising three pre-schoolers at 40 but for the following decade, was not only unable to work, but terrified of doing so. I tried nine different jobs and four home-based businesses in seven years, without success. I had becoming increasingly exhausted since age 30, and in my 40s could barely concentrate.

I had a hard time reading for any length of time and it took great exertion of mind to do simple tasks like paying bills and filing them. Between age 18 and 40 I moved house over 40 times. I was terrified of learning to drive and using any kind of machinery. I also developed a full-blown shopping compulsion when I got my first credit card after my divorce. There were times when I could not leave the house for several days and could only put the trash out under cover at night. I lost all contact with my family, made and lost countless friends and swung from horrifying loneliness to extreme gregariousness. I was either withdrawn or the life and soul of the party, keeping everyone amused with brilliant insights, jokes and entertaining stories. I could not handle stress of any kind and felt like I was walking on a tightrope with a knife at my throat. I never knew how I was going to feel from day to day, hour to hour. My irritability escalated to full-blown rages followed by mortified despair.

This is an inter-generational illness. After my research I realized that my mother and her father had suffered with the same disorder, but had never been diagnosed or treated, with terrible consequences. My mother’s uncle committed suicide and three of my siblings have attempted it. Two of my three children have manifested strong symptoms of the disease. My journey toward mental wellness began February 12, 2003 with three EMPowerplus capsules. The next day I woke with a feeling of calm I have never before known. I weaned off Paxil – an addictive antidepressant I had taken for two years. I have experienced serious withdrawals, on two occasions becoming very suicidal. These protracted withdrawals continued for 18 months, but became less severe. After four months on the program I was able to get and keep a part-time job and after a year started my own business, which looks promising. Finally, at age 50, this college-educated woman may actually be able to support her children without outside help, and get us out of the terrible poverty we have been living in for a decade. I feel as though I have come out of a war zone. My children have been the only reason for me to keep going, and the micronutrients have literally given me a new life. I am now feeling more connected to people, and that the people-person I always knew I was, is beginning to surface. I am making better choices, thinking before acting and the desire to resurrect family ties and old friendships is beginning to appear. My entire family’s life has been decimated and my own children have suffered greatly due to my illness, but I have hope that relationships will be repaired and that my children will have a chance to live happy and productive lives when they are grown… I wish to salute the Truehope team for its wonderful support over the past year and a half. I am grateful for their diligent and watchful care. I am truly thankful to Anthony Stephan who surveyed my case and gave permission for my son and I to receive the micronutrient treatments at no cost. As time passes and my business progresses, I look forward to being able to repay this great kindness with interest. I am certain that David Hardy, the biologist to whom we are indebted for creating this amazing treatment, will, in time be honored for his pioneering work.

Finally, I should like to express my sincere condolences to the Stephan family for the great loss of wife and mother. Please know that her life was not given in vain.
Deborah F.